Comfortably Blind – A Journey in Three Parts – Part Two – Meeting the World
The decision to travel solo, to spend three months in Nepal on my own, did not come easy, but I knew I had to do it. I'd be able to fully test the limits of where my vision lay, of what I could and couldn't do. It would also clear up all the psychological clutter of how I defined and represented myself to other people, of how they should understand my visual impairment and whether I was making too much of an issue out of it.
No one there would know me so I'd be able to try out a number of different approaches afresh with new people each time, without making this constant need for definition and redefinition into a something of a saga with the same people again and again at home in London. Also, there'd be no one there to turn to when I felt life was unfair, so I'd just have to toughen up, deal with it and stop the whinging and over analysis.
And my word, did it work! Oh yeah, I was scared, scared as hell before I left, pondering for ages over the right travel insurance, buying the most powerful lights and magnifiers and taking a huge amount of eye medicine with me. And those first two weeks in India and Nepal were not easy. Hells, even getting through the airports and reading the right signs was overwhelming. But having the courage to walk down the streets of dimly lit developing countries at night, brandishing my torch with necessity and functionality rather than embarrassment, made me feel truly empowered and worthwhile, because I knew I was living life to my limits and not hiding away.
And that's the whole point of it all. We all have to deal with the enormity of visual impairment and it's different for everyone, but we really must work towards acceptance and push our own limits, wherever they may lie.
The trip was incredible. I'm so happy to have been able to trek in Nepal, abseil down waterfalls in Vietnam and cycle around the temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodia. And sure, I may have slipped and bruised myself a multitude of times more than your average Joe and had border guards laugh at me when I had to take out my super magnifier to fill in the immigration cards, but their laughing was more out of ignorance and novelty and not really malicious at all.
You see, I've learnt that people really don't concern themselves with what you've got going on, they simply haven't got time to make a complex and detailed analysis of all the issues that may be swimming around in your head. They think about you for all of five seconds and either decide to treat you decently because they're nice or be plain unhelpful because they're nasty; it has very little to do with you or your visual impairment. And I soldiered on.
About Shezan
Shezan Hirjee was born with glaucoma and is partially sighted.
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Comments
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I can't decide what I like better - you telling it in person or reading it here. It is such a brilliant story and you are an inspiration to us all for being brave enough to have embarked on such an incredible journey, and what a journey it was! I can't wait for the next installment. I am honoured to have you as my friend and now as my fellow blogger. Well done Shez. You are awesome!
Posted by Sandi Wassmer, 10 March 2010 (2 years ago)
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Shezan, you are inspirational and yes, definitely awesome. You cycled around Angkor Wat? I suspect that there were dirt roads with pot holes. Wow, that must have been a challenge. I liked reading what you had to say about human nature - very astute. Would love to find out what the monks there and in Nepal had to say to you.
Posted by Gaby, 28 May 2011 (9 months ago)
