Sight loss and acceptance: time heals all wounds if you let it
My eyes and I are coming up to our second anniversary. On April 1st, it will be two years since I registered blind. And since I am planning to participate fully in the joys of April Fool's Day - I do live with two boys, after all - I am suddenly aware of just how far I’ve come. My sense of humour was definitely on sabbatical this time last year, so the fact that I am feeling mischievous again has given rise to a very warm and fuzzy feeling all over.
If you would have told me that time heals all wounds two years ago, I am sure that I would have either cried, bitten your head off or looked at you in wonderment as if you were speaking Dalek, but now, I know it's true, but there is a proviso and that is that you have to let it, or if you are me, you have to push it along at a rapid pace and get it over with. Either way, you can’t pick at said wound and you just have to leave it. You can, of course, watch it heal if you want to, but it won’t make it happen any faster. Each individual has their own special relationalship with time in these situations and it’s circumstantial.
I have always asserted that I am fortunate, and my good fortune continues to prevail. Although I can certainly declare that these past two years have been tumultuous, they have also been incredibly rewarding, as my life has taken an unanticipated direction and I have found a way to help make this crazy world we live in a better place and a gift like that makes me a very lucky girl indeed.
And with that gift in hand, I actually realise that I feel more able now than I ever did before I got on this rollercoaster ride of alleged disability. Sure, I will never get my eyesight back, but at this point, it matters not. I have gone through the grieving process and haven't just stopped at Acceptance. My loss has been replaced by so many other things that make me so much happier. If given the choice, I wouldn’t change a single thing.
So roll on April Fool's Day. I am ready and waiting.