Here's to 2012: to hope and happy happenings
If 2011 has taught me anything, it is that I am indeed a weeble. I began the year with hope in my heart and have ended it just the same, but the stuff that happened in between is what has made me certain of my weeble status.
The year was filled with great drama, of which can only be described as Shakespearean proportions: lies, betrayal, backstabbing, stealing, cheating, and then some. I have no desire to recount the tales, but I will say that I am rather flummoxed by the fact that I am still standing. There is no reason known to man why this should be so. I challenge anyone to prove me otherwise.
I spent the better part of 2011 doing what is commonly referred to as facing my demons. For a whole plethora of reasons, I found my life in review; I had to open up a few wounds - some old, some new, it did not matter - as what I needed to do was not continue to pick at them, which was my standard practice, but to let them be, and to give them time and space to heal. Not an easy thing for this impatient hothead, but that's what I did.
I want to say that I just stopped fighting, but that's not exactly true. I didn't stop fighting everything. I just decided which battles were worth it. I realise that this means that I might not be invited to join the Justice League of America, but I think I can live with it. I suspect that Mark had to exercise considerable restraint in not throwing his hands up victoriously and shouting at the top of his voice, "Finally!". After what probably seemed like an eternity of banging my head against the wall, I twigged that it just hurts.
There are some things you just can't change; the only thing you can do is to acknowledge them for what they are, and not what you want them to be, however detestable, unpleasant or hurtful it is. In my ongoing hippiedom, I found a way to accept things, to let them be, to sit with them in full view and not fight their nature.
And as I reviewed my life that stood before me, the truth did not come easily. In fact, for a time, it just seemed that I was accumulating new wounds, but I persevered. I was bruised and battered, but not broken. My spirit remained intact, protected by the abounding love of Mark and Martin, and the warmth of my few close friends and family, but my hope in my ability to trust in others remained fragile.
And then, as is the norm in my Shakespearean-esque life, another bizarre and protracted chain of events led to a new beginning, where hope and trust have been restored in the guise of the wonderful Matt Smith. "2011 was the year of beginnings and 2012 will be the year of happenings." quoth Mr Smith, to which this weeble shall reply, "Indeedy!"
About Sandi
Businesswoman Sandi Wassmer registered blind in 2008. In her blog, she shares with us the 'shenanigans of visual impairment'.
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Comments
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I think you will find that letting go of some battles to fight others sometimes simply solves the abandonned ones. Life often needs a bit of room to be able to come in and help... Have a fantastic year!
Posted by wickedgeekie, 3 January 2012 (5 months ago)
